The Importance of Proper Etiquette Towards One’s Parents


“Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or more attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say, “My Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy, even as they cherished me in childhood.” (Surah 17: 23,24)

“We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth.” (Surah 46:15)

The Holy Last Messenger Muhammad, peace and blessing be upon him, is reported to have said:

Umar b. Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: “I heard Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: ‘Worthy amongst the successors would be a person who would be called Uwais. He would have his mother (living with him) and he would have (a small) sign of leprosy. Ask him to beg pardon for you (from Allah)’.” (Sahih Muslim, Book 31: Hadith 6171)

Usair b. Jabir (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that a delegation from Kufa came to ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) and there was a person amongst them who jeered at Uwais. Thereupon, Umar said: “Is there amongst us one from Qaran?” That person came and Umar said: “Verily Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) has said: ‘There would come to you a person from Yemen who would be called Uwais, and he would leave none in Yemen (behind him) except his mother, and he would have the whiteness (due to leprosy) and he supplicated Allah and it was cured, except for the size of a dinar or dirham. He who amongst you meets him should ask him to supplicate for forgiveness (from Allah) for you’.” (Sahih Muslim, Book 31: Hadith 6170)

The great Saint Owais of Qaran was presented the blessed cloak of Rasulullah (Sallal Laahu Ta’ala Alaihi Wasallam) on the Holy Last Messenger’s (peace and blessing of Allah, The Most Exalted,be upon him) instruction. It is preserved in Istanbul, Turkey. He reached his [high] spiritual status due to obedience to his mother.

Owais (may Allah be pleased with him) was from the village of Qaran, in Yemen. He had asked his mother’s permission to visit Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him), and she said: “You have my permission to go, see him once, and come straight back. If the Messenger is at home, you may meet with him; if not, come straight back here.” Owais made a journey of three months on foot, from the Yemen to Madinah the Illuminated. When he reached Rasulullah’s (peace and blessings be upon him) house, he knocked on the door and Hazrat Aisha (may Allah be pleased with him), wife of the Chosen Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) and Mother of the Believers (Hazrat Aisha) opened the door. She told him that Rasulullah (peace and blessings be upon him) was in the Masjid. Owais (may Allah be please) remembered his promise to his mother and replied: “Please convey my salaams to my Beloved Rasulullah (peace and blessings be upon him). Kindly inform him that Owais came from the Yemen, did not find him at home, and is returning to the Yemen, since he does not have permission from his mother to meet him in the mosque.”

When the Holy Rasul (peace and blessings be upon him) came home from the mosque, he found the radiance of Owais in his house. Hazrat Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) told him what had happened, and conveyed Owais’s salutations. His blessed eyes looked towards Yemen and the blessed Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “The fragrance of our friend is reaching us.” The noble Companions (may Allah be pleased with them) asked: “If Owais is your friend, why did he not stay to see you?” Rasulullah (peace and blessings be upon him) replied: “He complied with a promise given to his mother and he is serving her.”

The Holy Prophet (peace and blessing s be upon him) said “Owais will come back to Madinah the Illuminated, to meet me, but we will not meet physically, for I shall then be united with my Lord “

Rasulullah (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) said that when Owais (upon whom be peace) came back to Madinah he was to be given his cloak, and asked to pray for the Community of Muhammad (peace and blessing be upon him) [and] also mentioned that a light was visible on one of Owais’s hands. During Hazrat Umar’s Caliphate (may Allah be pleased with him), a number of Yemeni’s visited Madinah, the Illuminated, and Hazrats Ali and Umar (may Allah be pleased with them) approached them and enquired about the Saint Owais (upon whom be peace) from the village of Qaran. The Yemenis said they knew of no such saint, but they did point out that a camel herd from that village, who seldom mixed with other people, preferring to spend his time in worship, alone among the camels. Hazrats Ali and Umar (may Allah be pleased with them) then approached Hazrat Owais (upon whom be peace), greeted him, conveyed the greetings of the Holy Last Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), and presented him with [the] blessed cloak. But he was reluctant to accept. “Surely there is some mistake!” he exclaimed, in his desire to hide himself. Seeing the light upon his hand, however, they cried: “You are the saint described to us by Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessing be upon him), for he told us about the light on your hand.” They also reported to him the wish of the Blessed Messenger (peace and blessing be upon him) that he should pray for the Community of Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him).

Hazrat Owais (upon whom be peace) rubbed the blessed cloak over his face and eyes and kissed it. Then he asked to be left alone. When he was alone, he held the cloak and began to pray: “0 Allah! This cloak is the cloak of Your beloved Messenger. He has presented it to me, but I refuse to wear it unless You pardon the Community of Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) .” He then repeated his prayer in exactly the same words. As he was about to repeat his prayer a third time, Hazrats Ali and Umar (may Allah be pleased with them both) came beside him. He cried: “Oh, you came too soon! Upon my first supplication, Allah granted me forgiveness for one third of the Community; on my second, He forgave two-thirds of the Community. In my third request I was pleading for pardon for the entire Community of Muhammad (Sallal Laahu Ta’ala Alaihi Wasallam)- then you came along!” As with people in every age, the Yemenis were unaware of the presence, in their midst, of such a saint, whose prayers were accepted. They imagined him to be an ordinary camel herd. The Friends of Allah, do not seek fame, and as such hide themselves away from other people. Those who serve their mothers with love will be resurrected with Hazrat Owais (may Allah be pleased with him). Those who are good to their parents will be happy in this world and the Hereafter. In conclusion, according to one of the Hadith-e-Qudsi, the following is reported about the status of parents: “God has commanded that if anybody prays equal to the invocations performed by the messengers, such prayers will do no good if that person has been cursed by his or her parents.” It has also been related that the very first words which have been written on the Lauh-e-Mahfuz (The Heavenly Preserved Tablet) are: “I am God, and there is no deity except Me. I am pleased with those with whom their parents are pleased, and I am displeased with those with whom their parents are displeased.”

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